Trying to get to grips with the ebb.


It just seems so nuts that life is hectic one day and so boring the next, I remember praying like a crazy man last year when a house move went horibly wrong, things stacked up and pressure drove in from all sides it felt a bit likde what this guy must have felt like
The pressure is on and you feel the importance of every little movement, your breathing has to be just right, one slip and it could all be over. It doesnt feel like you have enough time to make the decisions you have to make. Every step seems like a victory and it's effects are noticed (Mostly becuse you're not washed up against the shore )
It's hard going and very draining but you know that the river will flatten out at some point and then you can breath and rest.

.... and then it does flatten out, it takes a while before you cant hear the rush of the rapids or the roar of the water but the river begin to slow and now you can check that everything is intact, you have some space to re-cooperate and rest, it's wonderful and a little strange in the begginging. The sun beats down and you begin to see where you are. The horizon widens a bit, it's not as focused, you notice your surroundings and the skyline more.

.... And then you float down gently towards where you are going. You really dont know where but thats ok because the pace is comfortable and gentle yet reasuringly productive.

....And then without ever really having noticed you find that the river is much wider and far more shallow, as a result the pace slows and you begin to look to the horizon for some direction, it's difficult to know where to head for but you begin to flap around in an attempt to move things along a bit. . . . .  Nothing doing it's having no effect, you are going really slowing now and it's frustrating, you begin to think about other options, maybe getting out and walking will be better, or maybe you made a wrong turn further up stream.

You did'nt make a mistake upstream and getting out now would be such a shame, this is the ebb, where you kick around trying to get somewhere and get nowhere fast, this is where you try to get some direction but it's really hard to tell with the river so wide and so many options. Sometimes your not even sure you are'nt going backwards, then you remember  that  rivers dont really go backwards.
The flow will pick up again and i'm sure there are more rapids to come, rivers do that. it just how it goes, it's the ebb and flow of life.

Keep on going , keep on going!