slow to chide and swift to bless....




I had a chat with Tuffers yesterday about encouragement. I’ve noticed on About Life that lots of people are so encouraging, and really go straight to the point. I think that’s so brilliant.

In Romans 12, we are told that encouragement is actually a spiritual gift, “We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage…”

But in many ways I feel that this gift has gone by the wayside somewhat in our society. I don’t know if it’s laziness, just something that’s purely overlooked, of if it’s a pride thing – that somehow by encouraging someone, you might be almost admitting that someone may be better at something than you are, so it's almost self-preserving to just not say it at all.


Some of my favourite people in the world are people who ‘speak the truth in love’ (Eph 4: 15), just like Paul tells us to. In saying they speak the truth in love, I mean that they tell me where I’m going wrong, when I’m not being all that I could be, that they love me but I need to drop the point. They tell me how a situation really is, even if it’s not what I want to hear… they know it’s what I need to hear. But also they encourage me in truth – not empty compliments, but genuine, heartfelt, constructive compliments and encouragement which, unbeknowst to them, will carry me through the next few days, weeks or even for the rest of my life.

I just feel that this life is sometimes too much about playing games – in work, in friendships, in relationships. So much seems to be too tactical. Not being honest, not being up front, not giving credit where credit’s due for fear, perhaps, of losing face. The simplest things seem to become calculated, and it almost becomes part of the fun to keep people in the dark, flailing around, wondering where they stand, what they should do next, how you feel about them…

“Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it…” (Shakespeare, Macbeth Act 1 scene 5)

But how can this be constructive for the Body of Christ? In a world that’s full of so many hurts anyway, why do we, within this potentially fully-functioning and wonderful community of God on earth, play the world’s games? Why do we freely hurt one another? Not build one another up? Should we not be setting the precedent for the world, and giving people who don’t know the Gospel yet a miniscule glimpse of what heaven could be like? What better incentive to explore Christianity than seeing a family of people who, though we still fall victim to life’s pits and troughs, are still helping one another, pointing out one another’s gifts, even if that means admitting we don’t seem to possess that gift ourselves... Just encouraging one another really. Why would someone want to join a family of people who are hurting, burnt out and broken by the actions of their brothers and sisters? How can a body work when the left hand is hurting the right?

We’re given this short opportunity in this mortal coil to do the best we can, not to be perfect… that’s not for us to be. But one of the simplest things we can do is to love one another, to be fair to one another and to encourage each other and to keep the body of Christ healthy and nourished. Encouragement is like fuel, that can brighten up a bad day, and keep us going through the week...

As in the old hymn, like God, we should be "slow to chide and swift to bless." And there are fewer simpler blessings than a spot of encouragement.

A very encouraging read Lizbeth! Thank you :)
Another great post Liz  :)

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all..."
Brilliant. As ever.
thanks lizbeth... didn't go to church this morning, so that was my 'sermon'. 

the gift of encouragement is something very close to my heart.
Liz, that was an amazing blog, as per usual. Thank you for writing what you do, you are a real inspiration.

I sometime think that for many of us, we have very few real gifts or talents but encouragement is one that I know we all have within us. And yet I often feel that we never use this gift, don't bother to email someone or text them with a Bible verse or a few simple words of encouragement, to tell them to keep going, to run the race with their heads held high, that they are loved and are special, to us at least (and to God).

I remember when I was a child and I was learning to ride a bike and it was so scary, without my stabilisers on and the constant fear that I was going to fail, to fall down, to hurt myself, worse to cry. And my Dad would run just behind me, shouting encouragement, telling me that I could do it, and I did. Just like that scene in Kramer versus Kramer when the doting father Dustin Hoffman was so proud as his son managed to ride the bike down the Mall in Central Park, it is like that for all of us when we learnt to ride a bike. And it's still the same today, with our friends and family. Just as God is with us constantly, by our side, we are required to forster, harness and affirm that sense of community, to encourage one another and to tell them to keep going. But we seem to do so rarely.  

God has asked us to love one another, to treat others as we wish to be treated ourselves, and to encourage at all costs. Just think how we felt when a friend told us something that made us feel good about ourselves. 'Wow, you gave an amazing talk at pastorate tonight', 'hope that you had a lovely day today, thanks for being a special friend to me', 'hope your interview went well, keep trusting God'. It's so easy and for most of us who text regularly (!), a simple message that takes seconds out of our busy schedule. But the effect lasts for days, weeks, months, builds one another up and keeps them going.  

We should all make the effort to do one nice thing a day (minimum) to a friend and draw others in from the cold and into the amazing body that we have, both here on this site and also within the wider world.
This is turning into a great blog!
Liz, that is SO awesome. you write so beautifully and so truthfully.

i think we dont speak words of affirmation enough a lot of the time because we ourselves are hurting and are waiting for them to be said to us...which is just plain silly! And the more we think about our own lack, the more we lose sight of others need and others breaking their hearts because they just dont know what they're worth.

Of course I know that our worth comes from the Lord, but why would he create so many other human beings with such ENORMOUS potential if we weren't to relate to one another and do the hard work of getting along with one another?

I know i dont speak up enough about what i really think about people (the GOOD things!) because i often dont think they'll value hearing it, or they dont seem to need to hear it... i know people often think that with me; i appear to be very confident and self-assured, when a lot of the time, that's rubbish! So silly me for not just opening my gob and saying the lovely things that i am thinking!!!

D'you know what i DO think is most wonderful about our little/big community? Is how boys encourage girls and girls encourage boys. I have a thing about telling guys they look nice (i know it seems superficial); cos normally that's a thing that people think just girls need to hear, but UH-UH! I've been VERY inspired this year to fight for my brothers...tell them what they're great at, and help them to believe that they have what it takes!! and my boys make my heart feel warm when they even just give me their time and listen to me, rather than writing me off as a silly girl (which granted, i am, but still...!)...

Anyway - ramble over!

thanks Liz!

JP  xxxxx