As a newcomer, people ask me how I'm enjoying the weather. Well I freakn didn't come here for the weather, did I? Have to employ biting tongue to keep from explaining, "There's enough searing blue sky, dust and dazzling ocean at home to send you blind for weeks. It makes you want to dig out your old Midnite Oil records and scratch them to billy-o with the paw of a roo run down with the ol' Barina along the Parkway."

Similarly, people ask me why I, an antipodean, would come here. I'm tempted to reply, "Yeah, I'm here to learn the native tongue, become a citizen of the glorious Roman Empire - because I'm told their's is the party of inclusion. Hail Caesar!"