Aw, today was a sad day in the office - one of the HTB Homebase fish was taken poorly, and it looks like he's on his way to the big gravelled tank in the sky.

Fred (pictured left in healthier days) seemed to be having difficulty remembering which way up he was supposed to swim, and although fish are renowned for having even shorter memories than a teenager who...er...who er...wotsit...what was I saying? Nah, it's gone...

Now, regardless of how short a fish's memory is, they should definately remember that, when everything is as it should be, their eyes go at the top and their little fins go at the bottom. But, clearly not too sure about this anymore, and after several failed attempts at upside-down swimming, Fred decided it was best to have a lie down instead.

As it turns out, fish aren't meant to lie down, and especially not on their backs - it's not necessary, they don't get tired and it's not their way of chilling. So when they do have a lie down it means that things are not going as swimmingly (swimmingly... heheh... ehhh...) as they should be.

I felt rather distressed at little Fred's plight, but, after clergy consultation, felt that the laying on of hands might not be appropriate in this situation, as it might only make things worse.

Well, three doses of fish medicine and two attempted feeds later, Fred's vital signs were looking grim. Ginger, (his little friend - they're good mates - don't worry, I'm not encouraging co-habiting on church premises) showed touching signs of dismay at his friend's predicament, as he apparently tried to roll Fred up the right way on his gravelly bed. Ginger, it seemed, remembered the basic laws of eyes at the top, fins at the bottom, and on first appearances, seemed to be trying to refresh his chums memory.

However, upon closer inspection, it turned out that Ginger thought Fred was fair game, and was actually trying to eat his fins... I felt this was sick and wrong and I reprimanded him accordingly, and Ginger kept a respectful distance from there on.

And so, I'm fairly sure that upon arrival at work tomorrow little Fred might have departed this mortal coil. So I thought it only right to write a little blog in his memory. Well, not his memory... that would be very short... 3 seconds approximately...

But thank you to all those of you who humoured me today in my fishy mourning, and all those of you who joined with me in my sorrow. And special thanks to Tim Saiet who proved himself to be something of a fish doctor, administering fish first aid. And thank you to Jon March, who was very gallant and managed to not laugh when he caught me grieving for a goldfish at 8:30am this morning upon his arrival at work... ;)

So, to lighten the mood, I'll close with a joke...

Two fish were in a tank - one turned to the other and said:
"Well, do you know how to drive this thing?"