First and Last Love

Leaves...

Sun, 05 Nov 2006 03:51:38 -0800

I love autumn leaves. Whenever I see a mass bundle gathered together in glorious technicolour, a wondrous unplanned riot of golds, oranges and reds, carpeting roads, pavements, parks and canal paths willy-nilly, something in me wants to run over and kick it with sheer glee.

Why we are meant to be like stars...

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 23:55:27 -0700

I was thinking about this after hearing a recent sermon given by Paul Maconochie, the pastor at the Philadelphia Campus (attached to St Toms’ in Crookes, Sheffield). He touched on a theme that has always resonated with me – that as Christians, we are meant to be like stars.

Growing up...

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 05:03:32 -0700

I thought that I would post another blog as it's been a while since my last one. The last few weeks I have really grown up in many ways. I was just thinking last night how alone I had felt lately with Nick going missing - my little brother who I love so much and who I just wanted back home with Rachel and to be safe and well - and following on from my parents' difficulties, how bad things seemed to be really happening to my family this year. Then it suddenly dawned on me how much I depend on God for everything, literally and that without Him, I am useless, but with Him I am complete. I really feel this and I also realised last night that he is all I need and because of this, I feel a real sense of both peace and joy.

What is Hope (part 2)?

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 12:48:05 -0700

As I ran out of space on my last blog, here is part two, to be read in conjunction with part one…

It was partly Mike Tuffnell and Liz Clark who gave me the idea for this blog. In particular, reading Mike's blog on Job and how he went through such pain and such struggle, I felt something in me stir. Where is the hope in a world of seeming hopelessness?

What is Hope (part 1)?

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 12:45:02 -0700

I haven't posted a blog for ages. I want to write on the theme of hope. Not hope as the world knows it but as God knows it and which he breathes into us through his Spirit.

My recent feelings of displacement are I guess probably a wider reflection of where I am currently, feeling detached from certain things. It's a funny old time that I am going through - good in a way because I feel God more than ever and feel His love so strongly but also aware that I have very little to rely on as an absolute apart from God and very little to dive into that can offer any sort of instantaneous relief.

Funny sketch

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 05:34:41 -0700

The acceptance sketch

The sketch is a reworked version of a Monty Python classic. I re-wrote it as a short sketch to perform before a pastorate talk that I was giving on Christian community to show how much we all want to be loved and accepted for who we truly are, to come home in a way, but how in reality, this is often so difficult to achieve outside our family, close friends and Christian community.

'Your brother is an armed robber?'

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 23:29:18 -0700

'Your brother is an armed robber'? These were the first words said to me after I had told someone what had happened to Nick, only minutes after I had heard from Mum down the other end of the phone that Nick was going to prison.

What is heaven?

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 00:31:08 -0700

What is heaven? Truly? I ask myself this a lot and play the song by Tim Hughes ‘I Can Only Imagine' (at least his version) on my iPod countless time and it never fails to move me.

Sometimes, I just imagine meeting Jesus and not being able to even look at him, such is my awe of who He is and what He represents. In my sinful, messy, undefined life here on earth, I just would kneel at His feet and ask Him to hold me. Forever.

Art without Christ - part two

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 12:45:48 -0700

This weekend, I was again thinking about the subject of art without Christ. Besides facing mortal embarrassment in the Fat Face store (see my story below), on Saturday morning I popped into Hampstead Waterstones and spent a few minutes browsing there. I love bookshops and have done so since a child and could quite happily spend hours in one. The sheer aesthetic of such places always threatens to seduce through the endless possibilities on offer, the multitude of attractive covers that hit one upon entry, screaming ‘LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME'; the new titles wanting to overwhelm one's mind, placed strategically on tables near the front; the increasingly comfy sofas to plonk one's rear into and while time away - they are delightful places. And as Waterstones go, the Hampstead branch is one of the best, books chosen by the erudite for the erudite. The cultural elite. The sophisticates. Books that positively drip with profound meanings, busily occupying space and time. Such importance is without question. The ruling classes. Media folk as my dear old grandfather might say.

A funny (true) story about my weekend...

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 11:02:24 -0700

This Saturday just gone, I visited the Fat Face store in Hampstead with my friend Jemima. We had just finished a lovely breakfast and popped into the store to browse and kill time. I quickly stumbled across the most exquisite looking leather jacket, hanging on the rails. Wow, I exclaimed, marvelling at the old brown leather look and immediately tried it on. I could not find a label or price on it but was working out whether I would be able to afford it once I knew the price (probably not!). Mimes thought that it looked cool also. It was then that I received a tap on the shoulder and turned round to be confronted by a 6ft 2 guy looking bemused. I said ‘hello' and he said, 'THAT'S MY LEATHER JACKET THAT YOU ARE WEARING. I TOOK IT OFF TO TRY ON A FAT FACE COAT AND NOTICED THAT SOMEONE HAD TAKEN IT.' It was then that I looked inside the coat once again and saw a wallet and mobile phone.

what is Hell?

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 09:31:30 -0800

‘I went to the airport to check in and they asked what I did because I looked like a terrorist. I said I was a comedian. They said, “Say something funny then�?. I told them I had just graduated from flying school. Ahmed Ahmed (said a few days spoken after 9-11)

Art without Christ

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 09:52:35 -0800

Sometimes it amazes me to see so many artists around the world, in practically every discipline, denying the source that has drenched them with such innate talent from birth.

Working in Oxford, I see so much beauty in this world through music, writing, theatre and especially photography and it makes me want to weep with joy at how our Father loves us so much, that He gave us this for our use, our pleasure, tools for a greater appreciation and expression of Him.

The Stillness of God (and a London story at the end)

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 07:57:34 -0800

I awoke up this morning in the early hours with tinnitus.

I have had it since the end of the summer but lately it's got slightly worse. I only ever hear the ringing though in the silence of my room, and usually then only ever in the early morning and very late at night, when the world has shut down and the shadowy feint silhouettes of the trees outside my room, dancing to the rhythm of the wind, act as a backdrop to my thoughts.