Jason and Katie are the gracious cousins who are letting me live with them (For a while? Indefinitely? Forever?). Some of the things they say really should go on t-shirts and bumper stickers. Jason suggested a “quote of the day” calendar.

Katie: “There are half-hearted Christians, why not half-hearted Satanists.”

That came on the tail end of a conversation about sacrificing goats and deciding it was more cost effective to buy one goat, cut it so it bleeds just enough for the sacrifice, stitch it up, and then use it again on next month’s sacrifice. Cheap Satanists. The back story for where the whole conversation on satanic worship started would make all of this only slightly less weird.*

I pulled into the driveway of my dad’s house…the dogs barked, the horse neighed, the squirrel chattered. They were hungry. But first things first…I dropped my stuff off inside and loaded the gun. Then, went out to feed the animals.

7 acres, middle of nowhere Kansas, bonfire, friends from college and their cute kids, pseudo-camping, all pictures I stole from Melanie and Stephanie.
I met up with a group of friends with their families over the weekend to mark the one-year anniversary of our friend’s death. Some people set up tents in the field. I slept inside on my air mattress. I really thought about setting up a tent, but the dog ate it (seriously). Besides, if there’s a house with air conditioning 100 yards away, and it's August in Kansas, frankly, I can’t be bothered to camp. I wasn’t the only person to sleep inside, but they all had better excuses…babies. We ate a lot, slept a little. We had church together the next morning. We let the kids pick the songs we sang. It was cute, especially when we got requests for Jingle Bells and Away in a manger.

I delete most forwards unopened regardless of who sends them. I can't be bothered. 99% of what people forward has been sent before. BUT sometimes I get them from people who so rarely send them and know that it better be super-entertaining or appeal to my geeky side to get me to open them.

Forward #1 that I did not delete...

If I ever get a job that is actually in my field, this is going on the wall.

My brother asked me what I’m doing for fun lately, what I’m doing to look after me. The question came after I complained for a while about what I’ve complained about for two years. Why the flip is looking for a job so difficult?! And BORING?!

Life continues at a weird pace. Long days, quick weeks. I've been home over a month. A bit blurry, but during the past month or so...

I turned 30. I'm on Season 6 of Stargate. I'm glad Daniel Jackson has ascended. He was starting to annoy me. I've seen Jaiden's first swim lesson and gymnastics lesson (my sister is taking her stay-at-home mom duties serious!). I went to Worlds of Fun for the first time in about 14 years. Matthew turned 15. He and Bradley rode their first rollercoasters (the nervous giggling beforehand and the dazed look afterward was heartwarming). My cousins have flooded my room twice. First time was an act of nature, so I guess I can't blame them. Second time was an act of forgetfulness. My cousin turned on the bath water and forgot about it until water flowed from the light fixtures in the basement. It also poured into my closet. I only had to rewash half my clothes. My brother-in-law was awarded first place in the pork category at the BBQ cookoff. Went to the demolition derby with my dad. Bonding with my dad involves destruction or phone calls like this...

"What are you doing Friday night?"

"Going to Kansas City."

"Oh, too bad, there are some gang parties and I thought you'd want to ride along."

Destruction or potential gang violence. I asked if he'd see if they could reschedule.

I think we might be raising a generation of sociopaths. Not the extreme, serial killer types, but the indifferent, narcissistic, apathetic types. Just a thought...one I might come back to some other time.

The dogs are making me crazy. During grad school, I pet sit. Now, I don’t really like pets. It's not like I don't like animals. And I certainly don’t wish anything ill upon them or the people who own them, but I can also live without ever being responsible for a pet. I guess I've never recovered from having a fish.

Random moose picture to go with random Summer Goals…

1. Get back into rock climbing shape. I went climbing twice last week. It wasn’t pretty.

2. Learn how to ride a motorcycle (I was in a motorcycle accident when I was 16. It put me in the hospital with a broken collarbone and a fractured skull. Some members of my family are not going to be thrilled with this goal.)

3. Avoid the corgi

4. Legislate the city council to pass a law that people should not be allowed to change their shirt while driving a motorcycle. I saw a guy do this the other day. Idiot.

5. Properly learn to drive a manual transmission (I learned how to do this in high school, but never had to apply it. I’m all theory and can only be called upon to drive if I am the only sober person.)

6. Make my little brothers take day trips with me to many of the random and bizarre tourist traps in Kansas.

7. Finish watching all 10 seasons of Stargate SG-1. I’m on Season 3.

8. Spend quality time at the The Palace. Movies cost $2.50. It’s a thing of beauty.

9. Use the living room window to spy on the neighbors and sort out what they're up to.  They’re either running a chop shop, a meth house, or trafficking teenage boys. I’m guessing all of the above.

10. Figure out what I’m supposed to do next, and if I really should be uprooting myself every 6-9 months. As much fun as it is...

Oh, how things get blown out of proportion...

I left my house in London for the airport at 6 AM, GMT Thursday, 12 June 2008. I landed in Fayetteville, Arkansas at 10 PM, CST Friday, 13 June 2008. My luggage landed in Wichita, Kansas at 2 AM Saturday, 14 June 2008. See where this is going?

When you’re sleep-deprived, dehydrated and bemoaning bruised abs, the world seems bleak and it feels like God hates you (even if you know better). Inside my head is a drama queen. Thursday night when I landed in Chicago after having only 4 hours of sleep in about 48 hours and found out my flight to Wichita was cancelled, the drama queen about had a meltdown. I was rebooked on a flight for the next night and my brother generously put me in a hotel.

Kadie settled in to her new home and routine nicely. She passed the time by doing what she did best: mind-numbing temp work, but she was a star, especially when it came to photocopying and making cups of tea.

One day Jenny hurt her ass. No one knows how.

So, after a visit to the hospital for emergency surgery, Jenny returned to the tree house to rest. She spent the entire week watching West Wing and bemoaning that she was about to watch the season finale.