ARAGON: Stay with the hobbits. I'll send horses for you.
ARWEN: I'm the faster rider. I'll take him.
ARAGON: the road is too dangerous.
ARWEN: I do not fear them.
ARAGON: Arwen, ride hard. don't look back.


Stassi Eldridge in 'Captivating' (recommended to ALL, men and women, young and old) says that the hardest person to fight for is ourselves. But that we must. Right now my question is as we fight for our own heart (because it is needed so badly) as women, can we also fight for a man? I love this book because it champions all of the things that we as women are so often afraid and ashamed of...valiance and strength, but also fragility and vulnerability. It gives us allowance to be both.

It also addresses our fundemental longing as human beings - to be in a relationship. 'being single' is such a big issue for so many people. Although Paul in Corinthians tells us that it is good for man to be unmarried and that he should embrace celibacy as a gift from God, this is not what we were made for. It is the exception, and Paul's wisdom is there to help us learn how to deal with it. I'm all for embracing being 'single'. But when someone comes along who really is worth fighting for, how do we do it? Would a man LET a woman who is worthy to love him, fight for him?

"Yes, men are created in the image of the Warrior King. Men are warriors. But women need to fight too. It is a powerful good when a man battles for a woman's heart and stands between her and her enemies...One day we will be queens - we rule with Jesus (Rev 21)...he uses spiritual warfare in our lives to strengthen our faith, to draw us closer to him, to train us for the roles we are meant to play, to encourage us to play these roles, and to prepare us for our future at his side." (Captivating)

When God made man it wasn't enough. It wasn't good for him to be on his own, working alone, playing alone, figuring out the world God created alone...so he made a helper, who was the crown of all creation, and she was named woman. We are no better than man because of this. Though we're certainly no less because we were made to assist.
 
I've been studying the book of Ruth over the weekend. I love this woman. Although her overwhelming desire to serve Boaz as her Lord makes me feel uncomfortable - i think because i am a 21st century woman, surrounded by secular messages which say 'stand up for your rights', and also because i have learnt to be fiercely independent - I am actually in awe of the powerful strength of her vulnerability. She KNOWS that she could be good for Boaz, and he could certainly be good for her and her family (naomi, her widowed mother-in-law), so she goes all out, holding nothing back, to show him that she is a fighter; determined, yet vulnerable, courageous and alluring.

I also love the way John Eldridge re-tells the story of Ruth and Boaz in 'Wild at Heart'. He uses the story to illustrate how powerfully profound a woman's sexuality is in relation to wooing her man. By no means does he suggest that the bible applauds sexual immorality or promiscuity, but Ruth's act towards Boaz was simple...she adorned herself in a way that paraded the beauty God gave her, lay down at his feet and pretty much said "all of this I am willing to give you"...what man could refuse? And what a beautiful way to fight for a man. To arouse in him everything he is meant to be.

There are often times in our adult lives where to be single and alone is a good thing. Where we feel deeply compelled in our hearts to use all that we have to figure out some of the deeper issues within us. But when something and someone comes along that enlivens our spirit, affirms who we are, and points us to The Father, simultaneously all of that CACK (for want of a better way of putting it!) and vulnerability and fear and doubt that we deal with as a singleton becomes all the more ferocious. The fire of spiritual attack is vehement; overwhelming and terrifying. The gut instinct that of course being with someone else whilst walking through the fire just makes it harder, so we run away - it's not fair on them, it's too painful for us...surely it's easier to walk it alone, and go back to carefully managing those issues alone? Is it?

I feel that as Christians, embarking on a relationship with someone at the beginning isn't all about that person potentially being your husband or wife. In fact, it's grossly unfair to lay that expectation on someone you like, someone who you still have much to discover about. I think it's probably true that most of us DON'T want to go through life dating boyfriend after boyfriend or flinging from girl to girl...again, it's not what we're made for. But RELATIONSHIP is just that...to be RELATIONAL. to be willing to RELATE to another human being. And that business of relating just seems to be all the more beautiful and perfect with someone of the opposite sex...because when Adam needed a friend, God made a woman, not a man.

My question today is WHEN IS IT RIGHT TO FIGHT? Personally, i have that fighting fire within me. It's not arrogant, in-your-face, coarse or uncouth...but it IS strong, relentless, resteless, and driven. Women are not meant to emasculate men. But sometimes might it be that we are needed to rescue them? Sometimes it's our turn to guide simply because at that time we're better equiped to take the reigns.


"There is a mighty fierceness set in the hearts of women of God. This fierceness is true to who we are and what we are created to do." (Stassi Eldridge)