It must be a pain in the bottom for those of you who didn't attend Focus hearing about it ALL THE FLIPPIN TIME! I do sympathise, and generally am pro-'lets do what everyone else is NOT doing'...HOWEVER...

Focus 2006 was AWESOME! On so, so many levels!

For me personally (lets get the mediocre stuff out of the way first) It was like being home being right on the doorstep of the sea. First thing i did when we staff arrived on Friday evening was head down to the beach, expecting to find it completely deserted, but my plans had been forseen and a little staff rabble were already there. Initially I went all shy and retiring and revolted atthe idea of stripping down to my swimwear and getting in. But that really didn't last long. i strollled a little further down to where i wouldn't be classed as an exhibitionist and just dived right in, shortley joined by Aurel in his one pair of jeans that he'd brought for the week! To our sheer delight, God's fishtank was literally like bathwater! warm and yummy!

And that was it really, i was a gonner, and spent every possible opportunity popping into my baby-water (i eventually lost my insecurity about being seen in my swimsuit!).

Besides being at one with the sea, i felt at one with my Maker there. Be it in the meetings, whilst praying with others, doing my thang singing my itty bitty heart out, swimming in the fish tank, or just darn well being on my own, I felt a closeness to the Creator that i've not felt for some time now. YES there were distractions, there was still heart ache, there were still numerous 'issues' to bring to the foot of the cross...i even found myself losing my rag completeky with a very dear friend over a tiny matter (sorry Buddy! you handle my strops remarkabley!!). Still, my heart was 24/7 full of thanks for that place, the people, my life, the love in my heart, even my job during that week...

which was in the HTB cafe on tour! ironically ran this time by a collective of HTB staff, none of whom have ever helped with the htb cafe itself on a sunday. i think it's safe to say, we didn't have a NONCE of what we were doing! But i have to say, i loved figuring it out! boys - i dont give a * about what you say - but i LOVED the heavy lifting of gear, I LOVED setting up, i loved getting very very messy and sloppy making what must have been approximately 2000 smoothies (exaggeration? i think not!), i loved serving people...really! For me, real work is about being on my feet, physically exerting myself, and quite literlly SERVING. It was immensely fulfilling (selfishly) for me to do that last week.

Then there was the Out of Focuses. Which i think have been by FAR the most immaculately and creatively presented social nights of Focus in its entire history. What the team managed to transform the dingy, seedy Pontins bar into night after night was immense! and then i arrived that week expecting not to be doing any singing at all, only to get called in for the first evening cabaret, the jazz night, and then to BV for Iona Maclean at the talent night! IN MY ELEMENT!

This is just one big annoying rant about how great a time i had. I did actually want to publically express my gratitude to God for what He has done in my heart during that time. I still dont know what some of it was. But i learnt a tremendous amount, again about myself, about where i am going, what i called for, and about my relationships.

I'm still reflecting on it all. i think another blog post will follow this with more thoughts....

I had a flicker of post-Focus withdrawl at the weekend, then popedto the Beauchamp sunday evening, and low and behold Pontins beach had come to KNightsbridge! was mega exciting to see all the faces from the fun fun fun week!

I sound like a loon now.....