AboutLife

clearing my head

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 08:34:46 -0800

My head is cloudy. I’m not sleeping through the night. So I’m tired and yawning more than usual. I yawn no matter how much sleep I get. I did some research once to find out if excessive yawning was indicative of a life threatening illness. Not really, but I did notice I tend to hold my breath without realizing it and do not take deep breaths very often.

Work is going well, but my brain is overloaded. I have been drinking from the fire hydrant of the design industry. I’m currently reading The Non-Designers Design book. I have watched loads of tutorials on InDesign and Photoshop. I’m also reading something on color theory and type. I don’t fancy myself a designer, but I want to do this project well, so I’m just trying to give myself a basic education.

Untitled

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 07:02:11 -0800

“I worry all the time about the things I say
Wondering what the consequences are day to day.”

It may have come from the song Ghetto Superstar, but listening to it on the train this morning, I was struck by that line. We can agree that words are powerful. And no matter your best effort to pour your heart into something. To tactfully and honestly and even lovingly try communicate something, your words are still going to come back to bite you in the ass sometimes. And all I can think is I should have known better. There are people in my life so lost in their own pain and misery that unless it’s what they want to hear, everything you say is insignificant. They don’t hear you.

Ethan is my favorite superhero.

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:20:30 -0800

Prayer Request: If you could, please pray for my cousin, Ethan. He's about 13 and was hospitalized on Sunday because of a massive asthma attack.
(He's the one in the cap. Neither boys were much on smiling it seems.)

My aunt sent this in an email:

Carrying a torch.

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:33:33 -0800

Unrequited love, carrying a torch is far more painful than I could have imagined. Loving someone who doesn’t want you, who has made it very clear will never want you, is brutal. These feelings, that inherently are not bad, sit in the pit of my stomach like a rock. I feel pathetic when I think about it. Every time he’s with someone else, it’s like being rejected all over again. Because each time, it’s another moment he's not choosing me.

Happy birthday, Mom!

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 05:46:23 -0800

Today is my mom's birthday. She's the big 4-9! Seriously. I have young parents.

My mom is one of the most hospitable, laidback people I know. She won't necessarily make you dinner or offer you tea, but she'll gladly point you toward the kitchen and tell you to help yourself to anything you want. I like people like that, people who just tell you to make yourself at home, and actually mean it. I would have no problem telling any of my friends driving through Wichita to stop at my mom's and get some food and hang out (even if I'm not there). She (and my stepdad) are just cool like that.

I voted for Chuck Norris.

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 06:05:48 -0800

It’s over. As of January 20th, my country has a new President. Change is good. Though, I’m curious to see what trading one extreme for another will do. I want to believe. I want to hope. I like our new President. I want him to be the kind of President he says he will be, not just a fantastic motivational speaker. I’m rooting for him. Praying for him.

I’m glad this process is over. From a marketing stand point, it was brilliant. Good job biased, U.S. media, one point for you. But on the whole, I found the process discouraging. I wrestled for weeks whether or not to vote at all. I had some issues with both candidates (who didn’t, right?). And I was voting absentee in Kansas. My vote really, seriously did not matter one bit. In the end, I did vote. Regardless of who I voted for, I’m glad that he won both the popular and the Electoral College vote. Makes me feel a little better about the process. I think the Electoral College process is dumb (intelligent commentary at its finest).

ONE (date) campaign

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 12:20:28 -0700

So no one thinks I'm a complete waste of space at my job, let me explain.

I have to learn how to use InDesign. As in, I have to redesign some materials for a project we have with USAID. It's a pretty big project, and I have to be pretty proficient at it. So, between InDesign for Dummies and Adobe tutorial videos, I've been teaching myself how to use it.

Attached is my first attempt. It's a three page document on a pretend non profit called the ONE (date) campaign. It has a page of math where I figured out I have about a 0.1% chance of getting asked on a date. I fear the feedback.

faith...

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 13:26:09 -0700

(this is a serious post, but this sign gave me a chuckle everytime i drove past it.)

I’ve been thinking about faith, about Jesus, and Christianity and all that a lot lately. A self confessed Christian, you would think this would be a regular occurrence, but for the past couple of years it hasn’t. I let my faith wither as I worked overtime to take hold of my life myself. I’ve felt abandoned, rejected, ignored, disappointed, frustrated, angry, despondent, indifferent, heartbroken, knowing only a handful of people could see how much I was fighting (and not fighting) to stay alive in my faith. It’s hung on by a thread and only because of,

Making people squirm is fun.

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 19:49:13 -0700

I was having a general conversation about dating this weekend with the other guy in the house. He was giving me an “education” on men…

“Guys think women are beautiful in comparison to the other women around. If you’re in a strip club full of smokin’ hot women, there will be one girl a guy might think is ugly, by comparison. But you put that ‘ugly’ girl in Clyde’s (a local bar), she’ll be the hottest girl there. It’s all relative. Unfortunately, all some women bring to the table is beauty. Oh, but you’ll be okay, Jen, you bring loads of other things to the table.”

full circle

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:15:20 -0700

Taken from an email sent by Cousin Katie today, ”Sam [the golden retriever] misses you-he showed this by eating 2.5 pounds of raw chicken off the counter last night- that’s a lot of missing!”

Life has come full circle. I moved to D.C. in 2006 to do what I’m doing now. To get a job, get experience, and stay put for a few years. Instead, I worked random jobs, tried to write my thesis, and was in a bad mood for 10 months. My brother wouldn’t talk to me, because he was afraid I would cry. I did about every time he tried.

First day of work...

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 21:23:22 -0700

...is a holiday. That's right. I'm off on Monday. A day off before I've even started to work.

I arrived safe and sound in D.C. I drove straight through from Kansas City and arrived at 4:30 AM Sunday morning. Courtesy of the little girls screaming outside my window at 8:30 this morning, I'm blogging on four hours of sleep. Awesome.

If this job doesn't work out, I might consider being a truck driver. I'm really good at driving for long periods of time.

Goodbye (again). Hello (again)?

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 14:18:45 -0700

What a crazy 24 hours. I got an email Wednesday morning from my glorious part time job…the one I do from home in my Happy Bunny pjs. It’s definitely had its benefits, but would have made me crazy with boredom if my only other choice hadn’t been to return to temping (I’ve sworn off that)…anyway, they emailed to say the work load was changing, and they’d have less work for me. Fantastic. Back to temping she may have to go…unless…

I like pancakes.

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 17:54:44 -0700

Here's the latest...

I fly back to Kansas tomorrow from D.C. I was here for an interview with an international development consulting firm. They did a first and second interview. I'm leary of people who like me a lot in less than an hour of knowing me. I find their judgement suspect. I know I'm a likeable individual, but I also know sociopaths can fool you for an hour (if not longer). They're just lucky I'm not a sociopath. (And I do recognize the problem with my logic.)

Job tips and a study of YouTube

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:17:39 -0700

Losing hope in humanity...

My cousin works as a recruiter in HR. She says she's losing hope in humanity. It seems the only people who apply for jobs, should not be allowed out of the house. Below is a top 10 she wrote for my blog. I'm personally entertained by all the "interesting" people she gets to interview. And in light of my own unemployment, I'm taking to heart some of these valuable lessons...

Crunch 'n Munch, $1.88

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:38:43 -0700

(Stonehenge, Jr., Wichita, KS)

If I haven't heard from a friend in a while, and I've tried to reach them more than once, I google them...to see if they're dead. I did it the other day on a friend. Learned something interesting. In 2006, she and her boyfriend/fiance/husband (I don't know what he is nowadays.) took first place in a competition involving a garden gnome, a sled, a ski slope, and destruction. It was the Dummy Gelunde World Championship. Who knew?