’Been trying to put into words what this last weekend was about for me. I guess this retreat in the breathtaking alps in Switzerland was to a large extent exactly the way I expected it would be, which is a much different experience from the retreats I visited in my youth. Those early ones had made me nervous and apprehensive and at the same time giddy with expectation of what I don’t know. And I always came back elated and spiritually charged and feeling unbeatable (only to feel crushed that it didn’t last a week later).

I guess the “mountaintop experience” is the best way to describe it.

I suppose you get what you expect with these events. Having put all my experience to good use, I concluded that I'm really too old (mid 30s) to get marvelously hyped – I would say there is a sound evolutionary mechanism that also allows you to do that. On the downside you obviously miss out on those intense euphoric vibes.

Anyway, in a way, I didn’t go right up to the top of that mountain.


The program was brilliant: you could do what you want during the day, only voluntary workshops and talks. Most, like me, took to the mountains like caged birds suddenly released. Most, unlike me, strapped on their skis or snowboards and hurtled down the side of beautifully prepared slopes in breathtaking surroundings. I trudged up the mountain behind the training centre where we stayed, sat down on frosty tufts of grass and spaced out. If it hadn’t been for the bad cold, I might have been tempted to fill my weekend with inane activity. But at the time, THAT was relaxation!

Anyway, I did get around to asking God about His plans for me. I didn’t expect huge revelation. I finally finished a book I had bought 15 years ago at the height of a church refreshing (was it called the Vineyard or the Toronto Blessing? Anyway, it was Mike Bickle’s “Growing in the Prophetic”). I found out I was definitely a charismatic by the standards of the Baptist men around me (but a reformed one, maybe).



We were encouraged to at least attend the evening talks. It was nice, sound, spirited teaching on being God’s man. I felt challenged - the speaker, a southern Baptist pastor from Texas in the leadership team of a church of a 1000 odd people, had a definite gift and had also had his share of experiences. The message was the same I had heard about a dozen times before: it does matter how you act and relate to people in the workplace, at home and elsewhere.

In the course of this week I even had the chance to practice: A misunderstanding had occurred between a colleague and myself and I was offended. Apparently I hadn’t kept to my chosen menu at a buffet (!!!) lunch at a training event (somehow the issue of food arises in our department a lot – in good and bad contexts) and he ended up having to eat vegetarian. The actual bone of contention was that our assistant then came up to me and made it look as if he had asked her to inform me not to do it again (actually she was just meant to write a general e-mail warning everyone not to do it). When it was cleared up I felt there was still a step of reconciliation to make. I went over to him after work and said by way of apology, “If it’s any consolation, the meat wasn’t that great anyway.”
 

The ice broke.