I make no apologies for the pun in the title for this entry but it was the best I could come up with

Why does each Christian have gifts that God has given them?

There is probably a theologian who can answer this question far better than me. If I try and think about the why bit for too long my head starts to hurt and I have to go into a dark room for a lie down. But I ask this question for a reason.

I spent last weekend in the hampshire countryside with the pastorate I am in and aside from the fun, the food and a decent alcohol consumption - those of you who know the real identity of this blogger know that I do indeed enjoy a drink - we were there to look at spiritual gifts and do a bit of 'pastorate visioning'. All who went had a fantastic time but it has still all the same left me pondering the question this blog opened with.

For a start the gifts listed in 1 Corinthians 12 v 4 - 11 are not all of them. I feel quite good about that as, if I am honest, not all the gifts listed in that passage make me go "I want that one" and I am not sure if some of them would actually suit my makeup - both mentally and spiritually. There are at least 20+ gifts out there and knowing God there are probably many more. I think that it can be quite hard to know your gits if you are looking at them by yourself. It often takes someone else to go "Yes - that gift is so you" simply because you either are unaware of it or you do it anyway and people notice it but you don't. So all this looking at gifts can feel a little weird. But that should not stop you looking at what your gifts are and also what gifts you have that you didn't know about for reasons already mentioned.

So having sat down and taken part in the whole shebang I came out feeling a little strange. You see, I have done this exercise before, during Pastors Training (me, a possible pastorate leader? well stranger things have happened such as Millwall getting to the FA Cup final!!) and came out with the following top three - Helps (really serves), Administration and Leadership. Fine, I felt that I did some of those anyway and then went and put the piece of paper with this info on it away and thought no more about it. But on saturday morning I was a little surprised to come out with the exact same three in the same order!. Great! I have had confirmation that God has given me these gifts and I am using them so why the strange feeling? Partly because they were the same gifts it felt like nothing had changed in almost a year. Was I missing something? Had I had stagnated and had let the pursuit of other gifts slip? Looking back I think not. I have been really struggling with certain aspects of my walk with God recently and this was a slight glimmer of light in a rather dark area that God has a clue what he is doing and that the gifts I have are the right gifts for me at this point in my life and my walk with God.

All this made me realise that prehaps a subtle change in approach was needed. Instead of feeling that nothing had changed I could make a conscious decision to ask God for a gift that I felt I was lacking in. So I took a deep breath and asked God for that gift. What happened....I am not sure if I am honest, but I do have this feeling that my current struggles are going to be faced by a combination of God and myself rather than me trying to face it on my own.