Hi Charlie, good question.  I think confidentiality is always important when asked for advice or prayer.  It's quite hard not to get caught in the middle, but there are a few whom I trust that are good enough to love everyone anyway, regardless of what they've been intrusted with.

By the way - I know some friends of yours: Steven and Lynne Kyffin.  They live in Eindhoven, where I live, and have a beautiful picture of the prodigal daughter hanging up in the living room.  We go biking together and are both part of Trinity Church Eindhoven.  Lovely people :)

I've long thought that the rumour/gossip-mill has a lot to do with the fear around starting relationships at HTB. The comments David & I got when we started dating were ridiculous.

I wonder if people fear stepping out because of what will be said?

I've been a bit wary about getting people to pray for me or how much detail to go into when getting prayer since someone at church, when, about a year ago, I was having what I thought was a confidential chat with someone.  Unfortunately, it wasn't held to be confidential.  It lead to awkwardness especially when chinese whispers made it much more than it was.  It was a silly mistake on their part and the person wasn't the sort who'd normally do that, but it hurt a great deal.

There are plenty of people who at church are very spiritual and trustworthy, who are amazing people. 

But sometimes, I am concerned about the way some people talk about other people.  In my time at church, I've had to deal with a few false rumours about me, and it's really frustrating to have to deal with that.  Gossip at church is especially prevalent in the topic of relationships as vics said.  I sometimes think it's some people's only topic of conversation.  I've noticed that people are now using what they read on facebook to fuel some rumours which has led to me reducing my newsfeed & profile settings a fair bit.

 Brian and Vics-Im sorry to hear that. Its an illness, and an addiction no question, but justified under the cloak of concern. I m not highlighting integrity necessarily in the area of prayer- that goes without saying- if thats broken then its spiritual cannibalism.Gossip has become endemic in our sub-culture- period, and its curse slips quietly by, causing untold damage. Somehow its justified, I dont know how- but its amazing what we allow ourselves to do. 

Perhaps we need a good old sock-it-to-them sermon on it?

its difficult. very sorry to hear that the gossip monster has bitten you on the backside. i'm also praying for that poor alsatian.

i've maintained for many years that people are generally annoying. i only ever have a handful of folks that i know genuinely love me and are totally on my side, that pay community and friendship more than lip service. the trick is in  embracing those relationships and bearing with the rest. and i know i annoy folks too. it happens.

I've always said that Facebook was evil...

He he-Well look at you popping up kris-- maybe Im naieve here, but I thought we were a community built on love and integrity? ...I hear you chuckle. i guess what irks me is the notion that its fine to do it- like its important almost. We are so "concerned" about so and so - lets talk about them.... A lot...and maybe God will hear our concerns and act?Anyway- Ive got it off my chest.The alsation is fine by the way- no need for your concern, and Im looking forward to hearing about my issue with it through the grapevine.Pray for me

from experience ... I've observed and now tend to keep away from the throngs of gossipers in churches - .. hmm i see it as something that will only increase simply bec. the church is now full of idle sexually frustrated dateless single women ... and when you get flocks of those creatures together they just mill around in traditional gossip groups - its nothing new, think Jane Austen archetypes etc ...

for eg. if you go into the balconey on any given sunday at HTB or any church,  the air is HISSING with the gossip of the idle throngs of women ... hiss hiss hissing

then they use their lil tea and sympathy prayer groups as another more "official" way to 'share'

heh .. thats just society ... can't do much about it, or you could just be like me, and cut out the crappage feeders from your interactions and just focus on a direct relationship with God ... though, you may think its a bit anti-social, but anyway I don't trust church folk anyway ... its all a facade in anycase ain't it