AboutLife

Following on the heels of clarity (see "Fresh" post), there are "should I really have this Alpha sticker on my car?" times. Dealt with very well by Graham Tomlin in his talk "The Hidden God" last Sunday (see www.htb.org.uk 25 November).

This picture, which I took in downtown Chicago this summer, indicates how I felt on the Refresh weekend at HTB.  I keep trying to put it into words but I give up! So please refer to picture.

I have just read "Blue Like Jazz".  See www.donaldmillerwords.com and Amazon reviews.

I would say that is the best book I have read (bar the Bible) on, as the author calls it, Christian spirituality.  

 
So much birdsong compared to London!
Mom's house
Cups of tea, chats
Francis the cat
Toys, sweets for the boys
It is our "for now" forever
Just like childhood
Early summer jacaranda purple
razor and electric wire all over the place

About three and a half years ago while on maternity leave with my second boy I was wondering constantly what to do with my life.  I knew I did not want to be the city lawyer juggling it with two kids arriving all calm-looking at my desk with my latte when I am secretly wondering if the boys are ok and whether I had put my mascara on. I did go back for a while and did just that. One day in the shower in the middle of all the wondering I was sure God said to me that I was to do something with children (related to the HIV crisis perhaps) in South Africa.  I told a few people, thought about setting up my own charity (but I did not have the mind space with two little people in my life to cope with the logistics of that).  I contacted a few charities, I offered a little of my time.  No take up.  I expressed interest in going to see the work that one charity was doing in Cape Town while I was there.

10 pm.  I am setting out to make my Godson's Christening cake.  It is going to be Nigella's New York Cheesecake.  Then I read: "Bake for 1 - 1 1/2 hours before opening the oven door, until the cheesecake is golden-brown on top.  Turn off the heat and let the cake stand in the oven for 2 more hours.  Then open the oven door, take it out and let it stand for a further hour."  Never mind.  To decorate the cheesecake, I have decided to make a cross out of tiny white hearts and blue booties.  The hearts and booties only come in multicoloured bottles, so I will have something to do while I wait for the cheesecake to eventually emerge!   

I am lying on a cushion in the "hut" at htb. This is the prayer room for the 24/7 week of prayer.  Wednesday evening 9 pm. Babysitter and boys at home, other half in South Africa. Silence of sorts although there must be about 10 of us in this space.  Space to wonder and read the writing on the walls and paint if you want to and look at the names on the fishing net. Homemade fish bearing names of brothers cousins sisters friends. Some calm coloured lights.  The tube map, prayer for commuters, the world map, the tap goes on and someone gets a drink of water, someone else eats a pastry.  I wander around until i pick up some paper and an orange pen and lie comfortably.  I sometimes feel like lying like this in church, stetched out fully inconveniently in an aisle. so this is prayer.  In London there is pink candy floss in the sky as I drive here, people in summer stuff eating outside. Before I came in I bumped into an old friend (city worker, now also newly qualified counsellor) for the first time in a few years, had a well timed discussion, swapped contact details, she headed off and i headed in.   Someone else has arrived, coffee in hand, naturally supernatural....

This show left me feeling euphoric! It is on again in London next month. www.slavasnowshow.co.uk Quote on the website from a review - "This is the single most beautiful thing I have ever seen in a theatre in my life." 

I am reading God on Mute (Engaging the silence of unanswered prayer) by Pete Greig at the moment:   

"Imagine two sets of people living together in the same grand, old, dilapidated building.  Half of them think it's an expensive hotel, and they are bitterly disappointed.  The other half thinks it's a prison and are pleasantly surpri