Jonsie


I was five. He was 19. Somehow this was no problem for me, I had already decided that I was to marry Jonsie. He knew this information. I made it very clear on every meeting.

He was the youth worker at Immanuel Baptist Church, the same church my father and mother were ministers of in the 80s.

It's over twenty years now since he died. Our friendship, or my heartthrob period was brief.

Apparently, I was not the only fan. Recently a publication has just been made titled ‘Jonsie' talking about his life and service to God.

As I delve into my memory at that age, it's hard to remember anything. But for some reason I remember him well. I remember no one else. Barely even my own parents. It's hazy at five. The care bears have more significance in your life at this point. Or most particularly The Three Musketeers. I digress.

Jonathan Graham was the most exotic person most people had ever met. Especially in the church. He was fabulously-good looking and very confident, very charming, he held no special bubble around him, he had time for everyone and magnetised anyone - from infants to the elderly. Jonsie, was and still is to this day, the most popular man I've ever known.

He wore the most outrageous clothes, from granny knitted jumpers and chains around his neck, to his platinum blonde hair, Punkish some would say, others would say it reflected his ‘Peter-Pan like personality'.

In short, you knew Jonsie was in the room before you could see him. I've never found a Jonsie since, but then, I'd never want to. There was only one.

Perhaps I'm niave to think such a human could exist after Christ, but then I don't know another 20 year old youth worker whose memory still lives on so beautifully.

I remember Jonsie sitting in the garden and I'd stand behind him playing with his hair. If I wasn't playing with his hair, I was adjusting his crutches to suit my height. He'd been in hospital from a young age countless times to re-operate on lengthening one of his legs. Not once did he complain, moan, or find self-pity. Instead, he became the personality for the rest of the ward, and re-visited the patients who were still left there.

My parents were and still are close friends with his parents. Jonsie was close to my father, and their personalities were very similar, loud and fun, but sensitive and emotionally in touch. They feared very little. They loved totally.

He was a nonconformist, unashamedly original. He offered an unforced Christian witness which influenced others to discover the faith that motivated him.

On Tuesday 31 July, 1984, Jonsie was attending the European Baptist Youth Camp in Hamburg. He gave a talk earlier in the day still at that phase (do we ever come out of it?) of asking questions. Routed in his belief, he was quoted:

‘I know that even if I were to die this afternoon, God had forgiven my sins and I would go to be with him. I'm not afraid of death�

This exact day, Jonsie swam away from the shore to attend some friends on a small island. He was only 50 yards away from dry land when he disappeared.

His body was found three days later. My father had to interpret the German to English, and tell Jonsie's parents that their only son had drowned.

Numb to the news. Portsmouth was never the same again. Not for us anyway. David and Ann Graham after intense shock and discomfort of not being able to feel anything, were overwhelmed with the reaction from others. The campers were donating money to buy Jonsie flowers for his funeral, gifts were arriving from all over Europe, and money was becoming too much. In response, the church created the Jonathan Graham Trust Fund.

Since then, the fund has reached five figures and is still growing. it's helped 200 young people to do very special things at home and abroad in the name of Christ.

Anne Graham, Jonsie's mother, helps counsel other parents who have lost children, and is the area contact for Hampshire within ‘Compassionate Friends' a national group set up.

I talk of this story not, for nostalgia, nor for oh woe is us without Jonsie, but more a reminder to myself and to anyone else that may want it. I have moments where I think I'm too young to make a big difference, or to change something in my own community. I fit in, and do things, but nothing of significance. Nothing that I feel is in Light of God's work. Remembering Jonsie, reminds me of how we can make a difference through embracing the wonderful unique selves that God so created us in. Living life joyfully, and loving others totally. Regardless of past hurts, past pains, past grudges, Jonsie was able to allow people in again and again, through style and panache. All at the same time. He did not analyse his purpose, his physical pain, he just allowed himself to be. The only judgement he ever cared for was God's. And I doubt God would have a problem with Jonsie's image. It was exactly Jonsie's confidence and humility that attracted so many to him - and thus people began saying: ‘I want whatever he's on'.

So if you're sitting there today at your computer, thinking there's not much you've done to make a difference. Or maybe you believe it will come when you are older, or wiser. Maybe we should think again.

Surely Jonsie at the age of 20, doing more things than some people have done in their lifetime and leaving such an impact on so many….teaches us that we can really can make a difference. Not necessarily by doing something within an organisation, or through a skill or talent, but being the blessed selves that we all are.

Take out the hair band girls, take off your tie boys, this is the moment, we could all make a decision to realise that just one interaction whereby we are not too busy to talk, not too distracted to listen and not too torn to forgive…we could really make a difference.

Jonsie did. So what are we waiting for?