Bertrand Arthur William Russell (b.1872 - d.1970) as all of you will know I'm sure, was a British philosopher, logician, essayist, and social critic, best known for his work in mathematical logic and analytic philosophy.

He was indeed the atheist of my father's times. Dad trained under FF Bruce during my father's theological studies. However, coming from a atheist background Dad kept himself routed on the outside world. A crucial technique to keep oneself alert and self-aware. 

Why do I write about Russell? Well, I come from a science background, the two most influential men in my life were my father and my father's brother. Both trained at Oxford Baliol, one stuck to his atheists' roots, and became the first man to build the reliability program for the first rocket that landed on the moon and the other, my father, dropped lecturing mathematics in his early twenties in Germany, and became a theologian.

During my father's studies, Dad attended a lecture of Bertrand Russell to hear exactly what he had to say about his views of the existance of matter,and whether it continues to exist if we are not looking at it. 

Equations for Russell would look like below: 
Russell's most famous example of his "analytic" method concerns denoting phrases such as descriptions and proper names. In his Principles of Mathematics, Russell had adopted the view that every denoting phrase (for example, "Scott," "blue," "the number two," "the golden mountain") denoted, or referred to, an existing entity.

Thus, in the sentence(1) The present King of France is bald,the definite description "The present King of France" plays a role quite different from that of a proper name such as "Scott" in the sentence(2) Scott is bald.Letting K abbreviate the predicate "is a present King of France" and B abbreviate the predicate "is bald," Russell assigns sentence (1) the logical form(1′) There is an x such that (i) Kx, (ii) for any y, if Ky then y=x, and (iii) Bx.Alternatively, in the notation of the predicate calculus, we have(1″) ∃x[(Kx & ∀y(Ky → y=x)) & Bx].In contrast, by allowing s to abbreviate the name "Scott," Russell assigns sentence (2) the very different logical form

In short....If you are not looking at the object, does it exist? Like colour. Colour only exists if you place a spectrum in which for light to filter. Without the spectrum and solid matter, you have just light, not colour. 

Along with many other algebraic equations, this is Russell's 'reasoning' for the non-existance of God. 

And may I say, how incredibly sad. To believe that nothing exists, until your mind makes it have the capability of existing. 

I was bought up by two baptist ministers, so I have been accused this my reason to be a Christian.

Last year, I found myself in the darkest depths of my own existance. I decided not to believe in God. I didn't want to believe in God. I believed this all loving, all emcompassing God 'taking' away so much from life, that I couldn't see the point anymore. He wasn't doing anything for me (I can see you all cringe after that sentence) For after all, what was the point in holding hope, when I built up my life without any positive elements now? Without help from God. I was fine without Him and when I trusted him, life was pretty poro. Now though I just owned existance. I relied on people like Russell and other fundamental scientists/atheists on my theories. 

II had lost all hope that I saw no need for existance. I believed no longer, in love, in life and definately not in an after-life. I barely had hope in this one. I brushed off the Resurrection as if it were a badly made lasagne. It didn't taste good to my buds. Shameful,looking back now. Shameful.  

As time passed, (as did the pain, void-filled agony and boring nights of meaningless banter) I had become fed up of being fed up. What's the point in living if you have no hope in anything existing beyond your own mind? 
Firstly, how self-indulgent and secondly, how incredibly arrogant to think I was the only mind that existed. I didn't really think outside the box. 

... a match box at that... 

It was not until I found a tape of my father speaking on his attendance of Russell's lecture and other 'coincidental' moments in the consecutive months, that made me think otherwise. This lecture conducted by Russell was indeed structured around the theory of nothing existing unless you believe it to exist. 

Are you with me?

My father, young, but cocky, stood up, in a atheist crowded room to ask the following question and I quote, 

Dad: 'Sir, if nothing does indeed exist without us looking at that object/entity, who then is eating my dogs' biscuits? Because somebody is...'

Stumped by this juvenile remark, Russell turned to look for another eagerly raised arm, supported by hopefully an atheist this time... ignoring totally what my father had requested the answer to. 

My father on seeing this continued,

'Sir, I realise you have turned away from my question and in not looking at me believe that I may now not exist, but I do, and I can tell you that you have ignored my question...'

So what made me bring back my faith? The knowledge of the fundamentals in the existence of Christ, by historians that had documented Christ's phenomenon outside that of the gospels and witnesses, the basic knowledge in quantum mathematics and finding no answer to science, or explanations for the existance of love. And the fact that, no scientist, albeit labelled as a genius or intellectual, still can not answer the most simplest question: 

Do you really believe that there is nothing in this universe mightier that yourself? 

Of course, what I fear is that we, as Christians, will shy away from science, in the fear they might find a reason, a 'logical' arguement to show Jesus was just another human being and that we merely evolved from matter. Because we have not spent years writing on blackboards with mathematics to back up our point we may feel inferior to scientists' reasoning. We could be guilty for segregating ourselves into two categories, 'Christians' and 'Scientists'. 

I do believe now, that we can only use science as an advantage for strengthening our own belief in Christ. Cambridge only 8 years ago were constructing the most intelligent computer to make it carry out a movement in which to bend the index finger. Bill Gates was chasing after this 'intellectual mind' as he believed this student knew how to compose strategies in a computer that no one else had yet managed to. The index finger (a replica I might add) could only bend within one second. No quicker. 

Now. Take a moment, visualise in your mind and watch a fine pianist play. They move their fingers much quicker than a second that's for sure. If they only now can manage to send electronic messages to a finger and make it bend. How can we be so bold to say that nothing greater than us can exist? We're mere mortals attempting to make algebra make sense. And yet God is laughing at us, with love of course.  

It becomes more scientific than this explanation, but I won't bore you with algebra or equations that could argue the point of the non-existence of God, because....well...It's just wasting web space. I'm knuckling down to the simple point here. 

After analysing and trying to defend every scientific atheist in the planet, I gained my faith back.

Because no science explained where love came from.

Where human instinct was created. Why we hold a conscience and that if we all worked to be a better man and believed we were powerless, the world would be a finer place. Science could not and still won't explain the kinesthetic side to our being. 

In regaining faith,  I saw colour again, brighter than ever before and the ability to love something bigger than myself...that of nature, mankind and humanity. I believe it's important to be colour blind for a moment.

It makes you appreciate all that you can see so clearly now. But do me a favour, keep reminding yourself of light in your darkness, for the longer you stay in darkness the more you become adjusted to that shadow.... after a while...like Bertrand Russell, you won't even remember the purpose of light itself, and all the rich colours, solid matter can produce.  

In putting to my father the question that so many of my friends threw to me, 'I'm really surprised your father is a theologian, when he is actually a scientist"
His response...
'Why, my girl... that is exactly the reason why I am a Christian.'