This was an evening packed with legal information: how to choose a solictor, what questions to ask them, how to brief them, how to have realistic expectations of the process and understanding the process i.e. a judge simply does not care who is at fault so giving miles of information of all wrong doings for the last twenty years is going to cut no ice!! How annoying is that!! 
There are three separate issues to be dealt with: Dissolution of the Marriage, Arrangements for Children and Money. In an idea world this three should be kept totally separate! 
But we all know that is SO difficult, even the most loving, caring parent if cornered on money will use the children to make a point. And for the parent who has primary care of the children this is so easy: be out when the other parent comes to collect, forget appointments, manipulate information through the children etc. When we feel that life is so unfair we will use whatever tools/weapons and means are at hand especially in the early days and weeks (ok lets be realistic here sometimes even: months and years too!) of pain.  But ultimately who really suffers? It is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.
There is a new development on the legal front: called Collaborative Law ~ both parties instruct their solicitors only to act for them in bringing the case to a settlement. They are not able to refer any matter to court.  So if you don't come to a settlement then you both have all the costs and time of starting again with new solicitors! Unlike mediation you are supported through the process by your solictor at the meetings which can be really helpful especially if you feel you need that extra support for a lot of different reasons.