Aunt Wiggy

The whole course has been amazing but I wanted to show you part of the list that came up on the last night.  If you remember the list on week one: anger, pain, depression, suicide, abandonment, hurt etc etc? Well here is the list that was named "What does recovery look like to you?" FREEDOM, FREE TO DREAM, CAREFREE, REALISING OUR DREAMS, NEW CLOTHES, FUN AND EXCITEMENT, LESS STRESS, QUALITY TIME WITH OUR CHILDREN, NEW THINGS TO DO, PEACE WITH EX, ACCEPTANCE, NEW PARTNERSHIPS, HOPE FOR THE FUTURE, NEW FRIENDS, PERSONAL FULFILLMENT, LETTING GO OF BAD FEELINGS, RESTORED SPIRIT, ACCEPTANCE OF SITUATION, NEW COMMITTMENTS, TOLERANCE AND UNDERSTANDING ETC!How about that for a change of out look? I know that it is not plain sailling by any stretch of the imagination but the change of emphasis of so many of the people of the course is so inspiring and comforting and encourgaging.

Grandmas is a charity working with people affected by HIV and they visit the TB hospital in Calcutta as often people present with TB who actually have HIV but have not been tested for it.  Patients stay at this hospital for six months while having treatment for TB as the medicine must be taken every day and it ensures that they get the right medication at the right time.  The hospital was built as a "flag ship" TB hospital in India but as you can see it has fallen into appalling disrepair . I am an average white english mother of three teenage children and found the conditions that these poor ladies are forced to live in totally shocking, with no one to fight their corner, no visitors, little nourishing food, zero hygiene etc but very sweet and

This is the heading of an article in The London Times yesterday 28.2.06.  It is a shocking article on the eve of President Bush's visit and a part of India that he will not see.  300,000 children involed in commercial sex earning 7p (5 rupees) a time. Girls are often sold into prostitution by their parents for about £6.
On a trip to Calcutta recently I met a twelve year old girl who had followed her mother into prostitution ~ she had totally dead eyes ~ it was heart breaking to look into her eyes. I suppose the only way to survive is to shut down your emotions. At twelve how else do you cope with the pain, the abuse, the shame, the utter hopelessness, the poverty and the almost certain daily rapes and certainty of being HIV+ in the near future.

Second night of Divorce Recovery Course: 
What stops us communicating well?
Fear, Fear of verbal retaliation, Fear of physical retaliation, medication/ substance abuse, dishonesty, lies, "emotional unavailability", Not articulate enough, broken trust in past, boundary-less discussions in past, financial pressures, unhealthy intrusions from in-laws or friends, fear of vunerability, sulks and silences, revenge?, radically differing views, judging and critical, confusion with new situation, Anger, outside pressure.

Hate, hurt, abandonment, crisis, invisible, raw, hatred, depressed, suicidal, murderous, ashamed, guilty, victim, unfair, useless, hopeless,

Amazing Channel Four programme on Tuesday night at 9pm and part two and three to follow ~ same time, same channel etc.