My Life

Wow! My life is based on that truth! My God, my Jesus, my Holy Spirit loves me! I am loved by Him with everything! There is nothing that He would not do for me! There is nothing that I can do to cause Him to stop loving me!

Over the past few months I have felt SO loved by God and SO in love with God! I can say that God is my all. There is nothing that I would rather do than spend time with Him and He is covering me with His love, dumping it on me. The other week I didn't know what to do with it or how to cope with it. I still don't really know how to cope with how much God loves me but I do know what to do with it. I'm going to give it back to Him! And I'm going to dish it out to others! I want to love like Jesus loved.

Refreshed by, fired up for and in love with Jesus. That's how I'd sum up where I'm at right now. As I said to a friend today, at the moment I'm having the best time of my life. I had a great holiday. Before I left I quite wanted to go and visit Lakeland to see what was going on, but for a few reasons that didn't happen and I'm not really disapointed. God used my time away to help me relax, for me to have some good family time, to draw me closer to him and to mature me. I feel as though I've grown up a lot in the last two weeks. I know it may sound strange to hear that from a 23 year old who probably should have grown up a long time ago, but I believe that God has been helping me to mature over the last two weeks. It's hard to explain but just watch this space. I feel as though the Adam after Florida is wiser, more discerning, and braver than the one before and there's so much more to come.

I'm now a little over a week away from my holiday and I can't wait! I'm really looking forward to spending some time with my family. Who would have thought it, they drive me crazy for years and then when I properly move out I miss them!!! I do feel that the decision to follow where I felt God was leading me was the right thing to do and although there have been some serious struggles there have also been some amazing blessings that have come from it. To begin with there were a number of dry months and it was tough. Some things needed to go, not many of which I wanted to let go of, but God is faithful and is revealing to me more and more what he wants to use me for. It's very very exciting to look back just a few months and see the difference in who I am. I think the biggest change has been that God has developed a joyful heart in me that longs to worship him in all that I do, in every situation. Good or bad. I don't want to dwell on past hurts  or mistakes because they are in the past but God has drawn me near to him in times when I didn't feel that I could handle any more. My heart has been severely battered and bruised BUT my Father has gently massaged it back to full health. And how!! Recently it seems as though I have a new song in my heart for Jesus every day! I've had new revelation of Jesus' love for me... and what a love! A love that satisfies completely, never turns its back on you and never gives up! An everlasting love! At the moment whenever someone tells me that Jesus loves me I HAVE to say "I know! And I love him back! And he loves you! Lots!" A lot of people have seen this change and have been encouraged by it. I get a lot of comments at the moment about the joy in my heart. I'm going to look after it and not let anything dampen it.

So, we're having a bring and share lunch at church. While we're eating my mate Dizzy says "I had to go out to help with the kids before I really got into the worship this morning." So I suggest we go do some more worshipping while everyone's eating. There's a couple of people drumming and some guitar and singing. Then I get a chance to play the guitar and as I'm playing the music I just keep getting all of these things that I want to say to Jesus and they just come out in song. To start with there were about four of us there worshipping away. All of a sudden people are getting drawn to it and just start really worshipping. By this point we've got a bunch of kids of all different ages bashing drums as well. I didn't leave church till nearly 4. It was fantastic! That is what worship is all about. Telling God how much we love him. It's not something to be saved for the Sunday morning service, or to be lead, or organised. It's as simple as resting in God's presence and making a joyful noice to him, letting him know exactly what's on our heart. I love my Lord and I will continue to make a joyful noise for him until I phsyically can't any more. Today it was close, my voice started to go and I was struggling to sing at one point, but just wanted to carry on telling him how much I love him. I hope that this will continue to bring joy to others and draw them to his presence.

So, last night and today have been very important in moving forward with God. I've come to realise that there will always be more for God to deal with in me. By that I mean that each time he shows me something that has caused me hurt, or an unGodly belief, or some sin that I then deal with, there is always either another level to it for dealing with later on, or another issue to be dealt with. It's all a part of the purification process. The thing that amazes me is that God told me all of this would happen (either through others or through his word). And he's been so gentle with it. I'm not needing to search for things in my life that need sorting. I just seek God's face and  spend time with him and as I do he brings to light issues that need sorting.

Right, let me explain the title. From today I have decided that I am going to pursue a new career option (Before you all worry, I'm not going to give up the day job). From today I am going to try my hand at being a superhero. I don't have any super powers. I can't fly, I can't run faster than a train, I can't freeze things with my eyes, I can't walk through walls. But I know how to love people the way that Jesus did and I'm going to put that to good use so that it makes a difference. This may all sound crazy but I'm deadly serious. The world needs to change. It's so so so far from what God had intended it to be, corrupted by sin the world has become a dark place and it's darkened the hearts of the people that live in it. BUT, God's grace is so amazing that it's also easy to see so much light in the world as well. I'm not content to just get on with my own life and hope that it impacts the people the world in some way. I've been spurred into action and have begun thinking of ways that I can make a difference as Jesus did.

Yes, it sounds cheesey, but I feel that my life right now is wonderful. I am so content with where I'm at right now but yet excited about the prospects that the future holds and about learning as I push on. I am falling deeper in love with God every single day, there aren't many times during the day when I'm not aware of him. Although I know he's always by my side, I miss him when I haven't spent time just with him and I can't wait for that next opportunity to get some alone time with him to let him know how great I think he is. It's so good!

Well. The last couple of weeks have been interesting. I'm learning more about leaning on God and just spending time with him not just to be renewed by his Spirit but to spend time with him because I love him. The most frequent phrase I seem to have at the moment when people ask me how I am is "I'm great, Jesus loves me so flipping much and I love him back!" I really really do. I have had some really rubbish times in the past year, and there are hints of that starting up again but I won't have it. I'm not going to let anything get me down. I need to deal with old issues that have held me back from falling deeper into God's river of love. Jesus loves me beyond anything else I have ever experienced and that makes everything alright.

Right. God's been doing lot's to me recently. And it all started with a change of church. I felt so stuck at my last church and was losing the joy of worship and prayer and spending time with God because it was becoming a trial and a chore. Basically, my fire was going out and I was trying so hard to stop it but the harder I tried the worse it seemed to get. Then I felt God telling me to move churches and things have gone wild! Moving to this particular church was the best thing I have ever done! I feel so free! And I'm so in love with Jesus that I can't quite explain it. I still struggle with reading my Bible at the moment but it's coming. I love worshipping God again. I mean REALLY love it, and could quite happily do it all day every day. I love to pray for people and with people again. God has stirred up my passion and it's become infectious. So many people recently have commented on it. I have a joy that only God can bring. I have an almost permanent smile on my face (especially when I'm worshipping, Cheshire Cat style).

Well then. Just as I'd again got to the point of asking questions of God and asking "what next?" he goes and answers those questions with gentle but thorough cleansing.

The last few weeks have been all about letting Gods healing  seep through me and rediscovering my identity in Jesus. On Sunday the sermon spoke right to my heart. That seems to be happening a lot at the moment. The Word of God is cutting right through and it's good! After the service I was chatting to two of my mates about how I felt under constant bombardment from the enemy in my mind. He targets me with negative thoughts and it only takes one negative thought to slip through and then it can spiral into dispondency. Letting lies confuse me and mistake my identity. My identity is secure as God's son! I am chosen by him, his first choice for the roles he asks me to fulfil! I am loved by him! I am SAVED!!! I am not going to settle for second best any longer! I am no longer going to accept the lies that the enemy tries to tell me. I sin but am not a sinner, I do evil things at times but I am not evil. I am free, I am made spotless by the blood of the lamb and I am righteous and good through Christ.